Guiding principle #1: Dream without restrictions
- Dream as big as you want or as small as you want. But don't let others (even your role models) tell you what's possible and what's not. Because they're experts not clairvoyants.
- No one can tell you what is right for you or not. Only you can.
- You'll find out soon enough by taking action.
Guiding Principle #2: Don't ask for advice
- You don't ask for permission
- You don't ask clueless people
- You don't ask fearful people
- You don't ask unhappy people
- You don't ask leaders who don't want you to succeed
- You don't ask people who don't wish you well
- You don't ask people who've given up on their dreams
- You don't ask random strangers at parties
I know how hard this one is, but never let other people's fear, comfortable habits, judgment, and limiting beliefs get in your way. You have to learn to trust your own discernment and intuition. You're perfectly capable of it.
Guiding Principle #3: But be open-minded
- Everybody is a teacher. Knowingly or unknowingly. Everybody reflects a part of you. You admire someone's quality? You have it in you. You despise someone's shortcomings? It says something about you.
- There are teachers out there who will inspire you. And there are teachers who'll inspire you to not go in a certain direction.
- Pick advice that you really need and resonates with you. Not advice that makes you fearful and diminished.
- Be open to constructive critic.
Guiding Principle #4: Don't waste your life - Embrace discomfort
- Get used to the idea that growing out of your comfort zone is always going to be scary. More or less.
- If you feel perfectly comfortable with doing something (which also is awesome - there's a time for everything) you're not growing. You're setting good foundations and also enjoying life (which is crucial) but you're not growing.
- In fact, this idea that it's normal to feel comfortable all the time is biased.
- We're not supposed to eat chips in front of the TV/Internet every evening, live a life that makes us feel like zombies, and waiting for retirement and death.
- That's not what life is for. Except if you feel perfectly happy with it, then by all mean, continue. But I assume that if you stumbled on this website, you probably aren't.
- I'm convinced that at a different scale (I wouldn't base jump even if I think it's terribly cool), everybody needs some kind of growth and excitement in their lives. Otherwise, you're dead inside.
Guiding Principle #5: Be honest with (but nice to) yourself
- If you don't like something, acknowledge it. It's one of the first steps to finding your own voice
- The second step is to find out why. Why does this annoy you? Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not telling you you should analyze every single thought you have, but if something annoys you consistently, then it's a sign you should dive deeper into it.
- The next step is to draw the consequences.
- Whether you change the circumstances or your attitude towards it. It's one of the most difficult things to do as a human being, but it's up to you.
Guiding Principle #6: You're the captain of your ship
- You choose what you believe.
- You take responsibility for yourself (and you take care of your pets and children), your actions, and your aspirations.
- Nobody tells you what to do.
Guiding Principle #7: You're allowed to say 'no' to others and others are allowed to say 'no' to you
- That's a big one. Especially for empaths with co-dependency challenges. But it's totally doable. And quite frankly, it's vital to understand boundaries.
- You respect your own boundaries.
- You respect the boundaries of others.
Guiding Principle #8: Don't look for a mission, look for joy
- I'm talking "joy" à la Marie Kondo.
- You don't need to overcomplicate everything, if you don't know what you want, ask yourself: "What would spark joy?"
- The more you do it, the more you will be able to fine-tune what you want and what you don't want.
- Find joy and spread joy as often as you can.
Guiding Principle #9: Trust and persist
- Trust it will work out. Even if you take a detour. Even if you end up somewhere else in the end. Trust, that if you persist, you'll find something, one way or the other.
- Even if you think you're delusional, trust you can do it. Take care of that little voice inside of you that pushes you to go further, even if you have massive doubts.
- Because honestly if you don't, you can save time and throw in the towel now. Just think about what could be the alternative.
Guiding Principle #10: Allow negative emotions (!) but don't let them take over
- Repressing your negative emotions is not going to serve you in the long run. On the contrary.
- Understand them as an indicator of where you are in life and what you want to change. Whether within you or outside of you.
- Once you've acknowledged them, don't stay there for ages. It will be hard at the beginning, but the more practice you'll have, the better and faster it will be.
Guiding Principle #11: Yes, you can
- And if you can't you'll learn it.
- You might be lost, you might not being able to see it now, but trust that you have the ability to find it out.
- Saying that you can't seem like a genuine answer but if you keep repeating to yourself that you can't, it will become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
- Of course, if you are in your 40s and want to be an Olympic gymnast, you probably can't. Although there might be a way to fulfill what you want from that experience in another way. But you get the point. I'm not talking about silly random examples here. But the real stuff you feel unbelievably appealed to do.
- The problem isn't if you can, but if you really want to. Meaning, are you willing to put the work and the consistency into reaching that goal?
Guiding Principle #12: You're allowed to change your mind
- We're trained to choose one thing and then stick to it, no matter what. A certain consistency in everything is necessary if you want to attain any kind of results. But frankly, you know deep-down there are things you just do because you said so, that'll cost you blood, sweat, and tears without generating anything good in return.
- What if you would let go of those?
Guiding Principle #13: Forget about everything I just said
- That's my philosophy. If you resonate with it, great! If not, listen to yourself and find your own compass. Your life, your rules <3